On the verge of homeschooling......

Well, this week, there is not much too talk about. I think that is a good thing. Of course there are always a few things that happen that make me shake my head in disbelief, or make my jaw drop open.

Here is an example:

A girl placed a piece of paper on a chair where my oldest was sitting. My daughter picked up the piece of paper and placed it on the next chair, beside her. This girl got so mad at her and started yelling at my daughter. To which my child stands up and yells back at her, saying "what's the big deal with moving the paper, off of my chair?"  The teacher then gets involved and crumples up said paper, throws it away, and says, "This is why people get shot in school."  W T F??

My daughter is telling me this story and tells me she forgot where she was for a few minutes. LOL. Then she tells me that there are guns in her school. That kids bring them to school, that there is a gang in her school.  Teachers know about it, even.  My head is about to explode.

Ok, this is NOT the inner city. This is town of about 30,000 people. Homeschooling seems more and more appealing every day.

Here are a few stories from awhile back, some of you know these stories, but I thought they were worth sharing here as well.

Religion in the South is a bit fanatical. I truly don't get it. What I DO get, is that there is a clear amendment in our Constitution about separation between church and state.  To me, your religious beliefs are yours and yours alone. And in the end, does it really matter?  As long as you are a good person and do good while you are here on this Earth, who cares what you believe?!!

Anyway, religion in school here is a blurred line for sure.

First, a teacher at my oldest's school, told a friend of my daughter's that "she needs Jesus in her life." After this friend, back talked the teacher. Whoa.  Two wrongs here, back talking the teacher and an adult, a teacher, telling a child they need Jesus!!! WTF?? My daughter says, what if she is Muslim or Jewish?

My youngest came home one day near Christmas time and told me they learned to draw a person in art class. Great! Because up until this point, it had been craft class, and crappy crafts at best.  I asked her, what kind of person, did you draw? She says, "The teacher showed us a picture of Mary holding baby Jesus with angels behind her."
All the blood in my face drains.

 "She said we could either draw that, or draw our mom holding us." "I drew you holding me. Wanna see it?"  Sure, I say.  Then she tell me, that she was the only one in her class to draw their mom and everyone else drew Mary holding Jesus.  Once I regained a semi conscious state, I took a few deep breaths and just let it go. Until............

She brought home a booklet about joining a church........FROM THE SCHOOL.  I picked up the phone and immediately called the principal. Turns out this was an insert in the local paper, that they put in the kids backpacks every week. She was very apologetic and I then told her about the art teacher. She had no idea.

I cannot stomach any one religion being pushed on adults, let alone having it happen to kids, in a public school. It is a basic right in our country. I can handle "one nation under God", in the pledge.  "In God we trust", on money.  The word God, can mean different things to different people, God can be anything.  But to push your Christian agenda on kids in school is inexcusable. And from what I have seen, from the kids down here, they sure don't practice their religion very much.  Going to church 3 times a week, doesn't automatically make you a good person.

It has become very clear, that if you don't go with the grain here, you are the outcast. I have not had ONE adult conversation here, that doesn't involve, "Where do you go to church?" I still have no idea, why it matters? I have never ever in my life asked someone this question. I feel it would be like asking, "How many times a week do you have sex?" It is a personal issue. Of course when I answer, that we don't do church, I am never spoke to again.  Judgmental much?

"As I understand the Christian religion, it was, and is, a revelation. But
how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been
blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the
most bloody religion that has ever existed?"  ~ John Adams 

Head Spins

I have so many things going on in my head, after this weekend, I am not sure where to begin. 

It's not a surprise that I have had a hard time assimilating into our new town. Not for lack of trying, but every time I try I am disgusted by the behavior of others around me.  

At a birthday party this weekend, I decided to hang out a bit and try and get to know the other moms, thinking, I may as well try to be social.  Ugh.  Never go against your gut.  

In a conversation about a boy that liked my daughter, we were talking about the high school that this boy went to. One of the moms said, "Isn't that the school for Democrats?"  Wait, what??!!  A school like that exists here??  How can my kids go there??!!!  

Then, she says, "Yah, it's for the Mondays."  Me: Blank stare.  
I obviously look noticeably confused. And she whispers, "You know, black people."  Uhhhhhhhh.......what????? 

This is a new racial slur, to me. Perhaps I am naive, but I sent a few texts out to friends, and they, too, had never heard of it. Only one other person I know, knew what it meant. I had to Google it. It's been around since the 70's, who knew?  I seriously was in shock and disgusted. And I don't like how this throws me off my game of witty comebacks, but it does. I swear, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I go out and have convos with people, I am left with my jaw dropped to my knees. 

I did manage to say, "That's weird, because this kid was a white red-neck, not my daughter's type at all." 

Then, there is this new law passed by the DOJ for same sex marriages.  Our local news channel posted the breaking news and I made the mistake of clicking on the comments. What an ugly bunch of people.  They hide behind their Bibles. It disgusts me. Here are just some of the hundreds of comments: 

Just because we have a law stating that it is legal, does not make it right. It was legal to crucify Jesus. Our nation is in trouble.

Everybody gets rights but not animals this earth God made is going to hell in a hand basket

This is just heart breaking. God help America.

A very sad time for our state and our society where such filth and disgust is praised to be normal.

There are hundreds of these comments and very few defending same sex marriage rights. Shocking, I know.  

I am clearly in the very very very small minority here. It's very uncomfortable. 


And the damn crazies and their "open carry" issues. This was a was a quote on our town's page about a certain restaurant being liberal and him not ever eating there again. Wow, liberal, means you CAN'T carry your gun wherever you want to?  The world's smallest violin is playing for you buddy. 


I love the food at (restaurant) and Josh has done a lot for the restaurant business in (town), but I don't want to eat in a gun free zone. Those signs just stop honest people. I've never heard of a crook stopping at the door due to one of those signs.

And lastly, the 9th grade had their annual beauty pageant this past weekend. Yep, a school sanctioned beauty popularity contest, I mean beauty pageant. Beauty and Beaus.  A few teachers asked my daughter why she didn't do it, as she would be sure to win. (I too would have to agree with them) She told them, it was sexist and not about who was really pretty, but about who was the most popular. And if she even did do it, if she lost, those girls would laugh at her. And she was right, the girl she said would win, won. When the school counselor asked me why my daughter didn't participate, I told her it was a bit ridiculous for us, and this DOES NOT happen up north. Besides, what in the world does this have to do with school, in the first place?  
The money raised from ticket sales goes to the Student Council.  And yes, ball gowns and the whole nine yards. 

Hey, Mississippi, instead of beauty pageants why don't you concentrate on actual education?!!!  


So, my head is spinning after all of this over the weekend. I would much rather have of the head spins of a hangover, then the head spins of ignorance!  

By The Numbers

Over the past few days, I have read some studies that have me SMH more than usual. So, I thought that I would put up some numbers for you. These are studies from a variety of news sources. Yes, even FOX news. I know......but I want to make sure that it is fair and balanced.

Here is how MS stacks up:


Education: 48th in 2013
 http://hechingered.org/content/annual-poll-of-education-performance-ranks-mississippi-48th_6014/

High School Graduation: 75%, but for students with a LD it's 23%
http://www.governing.com/gov-data/high-school-graduation-rates-by-state.html


Teen Pregnancy: 2nd in 2011
 http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/states/ms.html


Obesity: 1st in 2012
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-08-13/obesity-rates-states/57031440/1


Poverty: 1st in 2012
http://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/on-numbers/scott-thomas/2012/11/mississippi-has-worst-poverty-rate.html

Religiousness: 1st in 2013
 http://www.wjtv.com/story/24629526/mississippi-ranked-as-1-religious-state

Conservatism: 1st in 2013
 http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20140203/NEWS/302030032

Women's Health Care: 51st in 2012
 http://magazine.foxnews.com/food-wellness/10-worst-states-womens-health

Gay Rights: 50th in 2011 with only 13% of voters supporting gay marriage

http://www.thewire.com/national/2013/06/gay-marriage-state-polls-mapped-ranked/66626/


These are some really shocking numbers, or maybe not?? Stereotypes come from somewhere, and I think I have found where.

What I don't see, is measures to change these stereotypes. Maybe ignorance is bliss?

These studies do answer a lot of my questions as to the why? of this place. No wonder I bang my head everyday into the wall trying to make sense of things.  It's like the majority of the country has moved on, but Mississippi still remains decades behind.

What is that saying about you are only as strong as your weakest link? I am jumping up and down over here!!! Waving my hands in the air, screaming......"I found it, I found it!"  "I have found our nations weakest link"  Someone please care enough to fix it!!!

In a recent assignment at school, my daughter was asked to list 10 things she loved about Mississippi. It was the hardest assignment she had had to date. "Mom, really? 10 things?"  She came up with things like, sweet tea and Faulkner.  She got a 98/100 on the assignment. I said, why did you get points taken off? After all it was an opinion paper, and unless she forgot to put her name on it, I see no reason........
It was because one of her 10 things was this: NOT NORTH KOREA.  Hilarious. Right? I mean that's what, I too, love about this state. It's not a dictatorship. The teacher didn't get the joke. See, I am still SMH.

Cowboys and Indians

What a busy weekend!! Took a road trip up to the birthplace of the King. You know,  I wanted to see other parts of this state......who am I kidding my youngest had a swim meet up there.

Mississippi is an open carry state, and I am not talking about alcohol. Even though you can drink while driving your car here, you can't drink on a patio of a restaurant unless it is full enclosed. Makes total sense, I know. (this will be a future blog post in and of itself)

By open carry, I mean guns. You can legally carry a gun out in the open. Into a store, movie theater, mall, school, restaurant, etc, unless otherwise posted. So, anyone who purchases a gun legally, can flaunt it legally too, making the rest of us feel extremely protected. *eye roll*

Most public places have a no guns sign on the outside of their establishment. But, as I have witnessed, this doesn't mean people obey those rules. And store/restaurant owners don't enforce their own policies either. Again, makes total sense. We might as well, just do away with law enforcement and start policing ourselves. I mean, really, why do we even need laws? And what am I supposed to do? Go tell the store manager, "Hey, that guy has a gun?" and get him get kicked out the store, so that he is waiting for me, with his gun, outside of the store? Yah, I don't think I can do that.

So, this must mean we should all strap on and walk around with guns. I mean, while we are at it, let's bring back the covered wagons. And for shits and giggles, I will braid my hair and an put on my buffalo hide dress and moccasins.  Oh, don't be offended, I am part Native American, I can say stuff like that.

I get it, the 2nd Amendment is a touchy subject, but I don't think that this issue is about that at all. Why on Earth do we need "open carry". Do you think people won't mess with you if your gun is out in the open? I mean, we already have people with concealed permits, and that makes it a giant guessing game. I think I like that element of mystery.  This reminds me of this crazy lady, I used to know, that always carried a gun in her purse, onto a military post, even, where it clearly says at the gate, No Guns. I stayed away from her.

Just because you can legally purchase a gun, doesn't mean you should actually be allowed to. Most mass shootings in the US are from guns that were purchased legally, but used by a person that was not mentally stable. This gives responsible gun owners a bad rap, I get that.

So, what is a responsible gun owner?  What I don't think it is, is the kid who has 46 guns in his house. Yes, a kid that goes to school with my daughter as that many guns. He posed on Instagram with all of them in his bedroom. I have a serious problem with this. He is a child, 14 years old. I don't care if he and his dad are avid hunters. So was my dad and his dad, and in the 50s and 60s, and I know they didn't have the many guns in their house. I am also pretty sure they didn't have automatic assault rifles, they used shot guns to hunt. 46 guns is an arsenal.  I may be the first to die, when the zombies come, I will have to take that chance.

I realize that Mississippi is not the only state with this open carry law. I just don't get why it even needs to be a law in the first place.  There is a least one deadly shooting here a day. It doesn't reduce gun violence. What does it prove? That you are a cowboy, a gangster, a bad ass?  All I know is that it makes me personally uncomfortable and it scares my kids. I don't know you, you don't know me, and if I piss you off, by taking the last bunch of bananas at the grocery store, you could kill me.  Or in this case, if I get the last basket of chips and salsa.

One experience leads to another......

 We are all shaped by our experiences. Two people can go through the exact same thing, yet their experience can be vastly different. The more we experience the more our minds open.  Experiences allow us to have empathy, teach us tolerance, and expand our world.

  I am constantly reminding myself, that this is all just a learning experience. I keep asking, why? Why did we get sent here? We don't belong here. We are fish out of water. Oil on water. Well, you get it.
  I have learned a lot so far. Today I will shed some light on this:

-Racism is no joke real, out in the open, and people don't even bat an eye. It's just the way it has been forever, so why really change?

We put up a basketball hoop in our driveway. We were told, "You might not want to do that, it will attract the wrong type of kids."  What does that even mean? We knew what he meant. Anyway, not one white kid in the neighborhood played ball at our hoop, so that became obvious real quick, on what he meant. Like with any group of kids, we set rules. And if those rules were broken, they weren't allowed on our property. It went well, until recently, when bigger older kids broke three windows on our garage and wouldn't fess up to it. Guess, what? No one plays ball in our driveway anymore. Such a shame for the good kids, but rules are rules.

My oldest daughter was asked by her math teacher what race she was......this alone should have sent me up to the school screaming like my hair was on fire, but it was what followed that had me so in shock I couldn't even speak.  When my daughter asked why, and said, "Um, I'm white", the teacher replied with, "Well I am just making sure, because of "all this"." Pointing to my daughters face and hair.  For the record, my kids get tan in the summer, and their hair is dark brown. But who the hell even cares about that!???! I should have nipped it in the bud there, but I just let it go. After all, it was still only the second week of school and I didn't want to alienate myself even more!

Another fun thing that happened to my oldest was when a boy liked her, and asked her friend about her. Her friend's reply to the the boy was, "She doesn't date black boys" See, none of my daughter's white friends are ALLOWED to date black boys. This blows my daughter's mind.(and mine, although I am just not as naive) This has never even occurred to her. Anyway, when she told me this, I immediately said, "how do you think that poor boy feels?!" The next day at school, she set her friend straight. This was all said to the boy without her knowing anything about it, until after the fact. She made it clear that her parents didn't care who she dated as long as the respected her.

One day my oldest and I were at Kroger. Now, at this particular Kroger there is a sushi counter, with a Japanese person making the sushi. Sort of hard to believe, I know!!  Anyway, I was grocery gettin' and I hear this lady yelling. Literally YELLING at the man behind the counter.  See, he doesn't speak or understand much English. She is asking for a napkin to wipe her hand off. She touched "something gross".  She is so pissed off at this poor guy for not speaking English, that she doesn't realize there is a roll of paper towel right around the corner. She walks away, still yelling about how she can't believe he can't understand her. (Frankly, I can't understand some of these Southern peeps, and they are speaking English) Everyone in the store is staring at her, but no one does anything. My blood was boiling. I think I had just had it with all the intolerance I had seen over the past few months. So, I calmly walk by her and say, "instead of yelling you could have looked for something yourself, like that roll of paper towel, right there >>>>" I kept walking. And I could feel her boring holes with her eyes into the back of my head.  I hear her say, "what did you say,? what did you say?" In no way was I going to get into a fist fight in the middle of Kroger, so I keep walking. Now, the ladies at the deli counter, where I moseyed over too, were acting like they didn't hear any of it, until, I asked for the manager.  I could see their sly smile and their eyes light up. Not that this matters, but they were black and it was like they couldn't believe this white chick was going to stand up for a non white person.  I tell the manager what just happened and in no way, was it his employee's fault and that I can't stand to see a human being treated that way, and how is in ok for everyone to just "watch it happen"?  I mean this is NOT Wal-Mart, for God's sake.  He apologized, for the wacko lady, but I was just making sure Mr. Sushi, wasn't going to lose his job, because of her.  My daughter thought I was awesome for doing that, and said, "What if this was 20/20, and John Quinones was here?"  I replied, with "Well it would suck, because I don't have any make up on!"

There have been so many other examples. Small things. Comments on the town's FB page, kids getting in trouble at school because of their skin color(of course that is a perception and not a proven fact), the Rebel flag, still on the state flag, and other observations that my whole family has made. Small things become a big thing.  So, yes, racism is just under the surface here. And maybe it is that way everywhere? I didn't grow up that way. I didn't see the things or hear the things that I do here. This state, after all, played a roll in the Civil Rights movement, everything is named after Medgar Evers. But because racism is still so prevalent, this state will never really change. Destined to always be at the bottom.  If you have always live this way, how will you know there is better?

I rest my case.
http://www.msnewsnow.com/story/24500979/celebrating-robert-e-lee?utm_content=buffer9281e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
 

SNOWPOCALYPSE!

  My wonderful friends to the North have had an absolutely miserable winter! And over the years, I have endured many a harsh winter. One winter that comes to mind, was about 4 years ago. Blizzard after blizzard, and below zero temps for weeks on end. Thought I was going to lose my mind, with snow days. So, this morning, has me LOL-ing. Woke up to a dusting of snow, literally a dusting, and school is closed. There are accidents all over the place, so I won't be going anywhere today. I don't really need some idiot ramming into me, because they don't know how to drive in the massive amount of snow that's on the ground. It's a good day to snuggle with the kids, who are missing their dad, and get out our sleds.....oh wait.....never-mind. 

  A friend this morning, reminded me(I may have blocked it out) that from the very beginning of this move, it has been CRAZY! Of course all Army families go through at least one awful move at some on their path to retirement. We have been somewhat lucky, and have had decent moves. This one was a doozy, for sure. It started when the packers showed up to pack our house (15,000lbs of stuff) with 2 people, and told us it was a two day job. Well, anyone with a brain, would know that it was mathematically impossible for them to pack our house with two people in two days. They quickly realized their mistake. When they finally load our life's possessions onto the semi, they tell us, "Oh, the driver quit, we have no one to take your stuff to Mississippi."  Uhhhhh, what????  They say that they will be putting all of our stuff in a wear house, until they can find a driver.  We were given no possible date for this. We all know that stuff in a wear house is never good. Things "walk away" and get "misplaced".   There was nothing we could do about it, phone calls were made to discuss our displeasure, but we were at their mercy.  So, we arrived at our new home, with no possessions, except what we could fit into our two cars.  We think, ok, it won't be long until they get a driver, I mean everyone needs a job these days. 

Turns out, we were too optimistic. Why would we expect a "door to door" move to take a month to complete? A month for our things to go from point A to point B, an 11 hour drive.  The moving company told us, that they would be willing to send our essentials in the first shipment. Ok, I guess that's fine. What did they send??? Our Christmas tree, it was June. The top of our dining room table. 5 pieces of our Rubbermaid shed. A headboard and footboard to a bed, no rails. Absolutely NOTHING from the kitchen.  You know, the essentials.  By the end of June we had everything. Well, just about. I think there were 5 or 6 boxes missing.  The parent company of the local moving company, was actually very accommodating. Of course, if you are the VP of said company, and you are in fear of losing your government contract, then you too, would bend over backwards to try and make your customer happy. They reimbursed us, for all of our expenses we incurred during the month. I still would like compensation for pain and suffering.  

This is what I call foreshadowing........

 

Here we go!

With a lot of encouragement from my friends and family, I have decided to start a blog. Eeek! This blog will contain observations that I have made and continue to make living in this state called Mississippi. I have lived here for 6 months now, and have come across things that unless you see them for yourself, are hard to believe. Everything, you thought you knew about Mississippi, is probably true.
I am a wife and mother of 3. I have been an Army spouse for the past 16.5 year and a mother for 15 years. Both make me extremely proud!  For those that know me, they know that I have a very honest sense of humor, I am quick witted, and don't buy into bullshit. I am also loyal to a fault and have a big heart that can get easily broken. But, enough of that sappy crap. On to why this blog is necessary.......
My husband and I are both "Yankees". Born and bred north of the Mason-Dixon line. We both however, chose to move to the South(aka Florida) for college, it was awesome. Since then, we have lived all over the world and US, not really loving or hating anywhere we have landed. But, always enjoyed the time and learned a lot from the places we called home. Then Uncle Sam thought it would be a good idea to send us here. The Deep South, a whole other part of the South. Yes, it is completely different from all the other states south of the Mason-Dixon line.  I know what you are thinking, sure, how can it be that much different, from let's say South Carolina, where they still fly the Rebel flag, or Louisiana, where Swap People and Duck Dynasty are filmed. Combine those two things, and you are now close to Mississippi.
Hope you enjoy reading about all the things, that I notice. Like this wall in our town, that was just out in the open for all to see.