We are all shaped by our experiences. Two people can go through the exact same thing, yet their experience can be vastly different. The more we experience the more our minds open. Experiences allow us to have empathy, teach us tolerance, and expand our world.
I am constantly reminding myself, that this is all just a learning experience. I keep asking, why? Why did we get sent here? We don't belong here. We are fish out of water. Oil on water. Well, you get it.
I have learned a lot so far. Today I will shed some light on this:
-Racism is no joke real, out in the open, and people don't even bat an eye. It's just the way it has been forever, so why really change?
We put up a basketball hoop in our driveway. We were told, "You might not want to do that, it will attract the wrong type of kids." What does that even mean? We knew what he meant. Anyway, not one white kid in the neighborhood played ball at our hoop, so that became obvious real quick, on what he meant. Like with any group of kids, we set rules. And if those rules were broken, they weren't allowed on our property. It went well, until recently, when bigger older kids broke three windows on our garage and wouldn't fess up to it. Guess, what? No one plays ball in our driveway anymore. Such a shame for the good kids, but rules are rules.
My oldest daughter was asked by her math teacher what race she was......this alone should have sent me up to the school screaming like my hair was on fire, but it was what followed that had me so in shock I couldn't even speak. When my daughter asked why, and said, "Um, I'm white", the teacher replied with, "Well I am just making sure, because of "all this"." Pointing to my daughters face and hair. For the record, my kids get tan in the summer, and their hair is dark brown. But who the hell even cares about that!???! I should have nipped it in the bud there, but I just let it go. After all, it was still only the second week of school and I didn't want to alienate myself even more!
Another fun thing that happened to my oldest was when a boy liked her, and asked her friend about her. Her friend's reply to the the boy was, "She doesn't date black boys" See, none of my daughter's white friends are ALLOWED to date black boys. This blows my daughter's mind.(and mine, although I am just not as naive) This has never even occurred to her. Anyway, when she told me this, I immediately said, "how do you think that poor boy feels?!" The next day at school, she set her friend straight. This was all said to the boy without her knowing anything about it, until after the fact. She made it clear that her parents didn't care who she dated as long as the respected her.
One day my oldest and I were at Kroger. Now, at this particular Kroger there is a sushi counter, with a Japanese person making the sushi. Sort of hard to believe, I know!! Anyway, I was grocery gettin' and I hear this lady yelling. Literally YELLING at the man behind the counter. See, he doesn't speak or understand much English. She is asking for a napkin to wipe her hand off. She touched "something gross". She is so pissed off at this poor guy for not speaking English, that she doesn't realize there is a roll of paper towel right around the corner. She walks away, still yelling about how she can't believe he can't understand her. (Frankly, I can't understand some of these Southern peeps, and they are speaking English) Everyone in the store is staring at her, but no one does anything. My blood was boiling. I think I had just had it with all the intolerance I had seen over the past few months. So, I calmly walk by her and say, "instead of yelling you could have looked for something yourself, like that roll of paper towel, right there >>>>" I kept walking. And I could feel her boring holes with her eyes into the back of my head. I hear her say, "what did you say,? what did you say?" In no way was I going to get into a fist fight in the middle of Kroger, so I keep walking. Now, the ladies at the deli counter, where I moseyed over too, were acting like they didn't hear any of it, until, I asked for the manager. I could see their sly smile and their eyes light up. Not that this matters, but they were black and it was like they couldn't believe this white chick was going to stand up for a non white person. I tell the manager what just happened and in no way, was it his employee's fault and that I can't stand to see a human being treated that way, and how is in ok for everyone to just "watch it happen"? I mean this is NOT Wal-Mart, for God's sake. He apologized, for the wacko lady, but I was just making sure Mr. Sushi, wasn't going to lose his job, because of her. My daughter thought I was awesome for doing that, and said, "What if this was 20/20, and John Quinones was here?" I replied, with "Well it would suck, because I don't have any make up on!"
There have been so many other examples. Small things. Comments on the town's FB page, kids getting in trouble at school because of their skin color(of course that is a perception and not a proven fact), the Rebel flag, still on the state flag, and other observations that my whole family has made. Small things become a big thing. So, yes, racism is just under the surface here. And maybe it is that way everywhere? I didn't grow up that way. I didn't see the things or hear the things that I do here. This state, after all, played a roll in the Civil Rights movement, everything is named after Medgar Evers. But because racism is still so prevalent, this state will never really change. Destined to always be at the bottom. If you have always live this way, how will you know there is better?
I rest my case.
http://www.msnewsnow.com/story/24500979/celebrating-robert-e-lee?utm_content=buffer9281e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
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